tips on radiance

actually, expounding on that last post, being mentally ill is REALLY like being in a Jane Austen novel. maybe that's why i connect with them so much? im not idle by choice which is like, a misconception because everyone likes to judge what they don't understand and i lack the energy to argue about my mental health with anyone who is frankly not interested in hearing. but i am idle and waiting for a man to come save me or wife me up. not truly, but... jane austen novels are cathartic in a way horror has ceased to be for me. maybe because ive developed a talent for reading between the lines that i dont necessarily consider the marriage a great triumph but i also dont consider it a feminist defeat. maybe im just a romantic @ heart honestly because i do think love is nice and good and monogamy and etc for myself its what i want so i can connect with the triumph of love superficially in 19th century fiction whereas the triumph of self is what i got from slasher films when i was a teenager. i dont know if this is maturation or just a different side ive never explored of myself. i need to read more about catharsis and just in general. i think working through my interests im working through myself (this is true of most people probably) and once i understand them more i can understand myself more, which sounds really obvious writing it out.