tips on radiance

This will never not make me sad, the fact that she was 100% white (mixed anglo-iberian ancestry) to begin with, just not Hollywood white/was considered too "ethnic looking" pretty much purely by association via shared features w/ latin americans/brown people - though the official version was "too mediterranean", aka the europeans who share the most features w/ brown people - makes it even more depressing. Right now, feature-wise, I more closely resemble the former -at least how I mentally envision myself- but when I was beating myself up, keeping my skin tone even, and my hair straightened and light, as well as taking care to keep my weight down, my transformation was similar. I still pass now in most situations despite not hating myself enough to make the effort like before, but there are degrees where you can assimilate easier, and only when I was making the effort to beat myself up every day and hate how I naturally looked could I begin to fulfill that ideal. The change may not have been as drastic from an outsider pov, but how I mentally perceived myself was. Freeing myself from that was one of the best things that could ever happen to me, even if it's a still on-going process.