tips on radiance

i went thru and deleted or "privated" a lot of posts where i was being rly hyperbolic and for SURE making things more complicted than they are i say a lot of dumb shit but its only because im trying to work things out in my head and like i dont regret it even though its sometimes embarrassing in hindsight bcs it helps me ~grow~ but i don't need it on display for everyone else + ANYWAY last night i realized i really really want more gay boy friends i thought about that when i was going to sleep bcs i dont have ANY in real life and its sad + alienating im gonna make that effort more this year i just want more queer friends in general even though i just noticed almost all my friends already are(???)