tips on radiance

i hate boys a lot a lot i hate most tumblr cis gay boys a lot a lot i have nightmares about the tangentially related greater Tumblr Gay Community following me bcs it makes me anxious theyre v hypocritical in sentiments vs reality maybe i am too maybe im afraid to see parts of me i dont like but mostly i dont think so mostly i just dont think they give a shit about me while also taking up a lot a lot of space esp. considering how many are white but it gets a pass bcs theyre vaguely conscious n have a good cis-cis relationship among the cutesy feminist girls i once saw a white gay boy a lot of "conscious" people follow describe jeans as "n------ brown" i dont like tumblr at all i dont want to be a part of tumblr at all i dont like how much cultural capital you get from saying one semi-decent thing but never contributing anything of actual substance to radical discussions i like people who are good people but show it through actions not in throwing out buzzwords to give some facade of "goodness" everyone wants to be a feminist but nobody wants to be effectively radical about it i know people who use less of a "radical vocabulary" and yet are still far more truly radical in the ways they treat and approach others as well as more naturally cognisant of space/respecting boundaries than those who do