missed connections can be so sad. theres a whole story here, not just "ur ass looked nice at subway, call me". queer adolescence is so fleeting and tragic and confusing. any adolescence is so fleeting and tragic and confusing. except it really wasn't for me. at least not as much as i thought it'd be. or maybe im just adding padding to the past. i remember being 16 and ~struggling~ and wanting to take the train to sf to watch gb jones' the lollipop generation but having nobody to go with. i remember how much just the trailer to that film meant to me then and even now. i never got around to ever watching it, but that trailer combined with please dont kill the freshman give me all the melancholy queer teen feels ill ever need. i could look at it as a missed opportunity how sheltered and easy going my coming of age was but in a lot of respects i was extremely lucky. im more scarred by my selfish want to experience something more than by anything that actually happened. adolescence is a no-win situation. you either go through too much too fast or it feels insignificant because of how gradual it was. and above all no matter which end you're at, its sad. whether during, when its come to an end, or when you look back at it. extremely heartbreakingly sad.
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